Things last night’s second period was worse than: - the first period - having to help an old person wipe his butt - the Panthers announcer’s inability to stop questioning Gagne’s goal - getting your food wrapped up and then leaving it on the table - cave man ads - the Flyers break out - your team not sending you to juniors, but also not letting you play - having “hair” like Danny Heatley or Ryan Getzlaf - having your arena obviously less than half full - having the NHL conspire against you by instructing the refs to always be in your way - leaving your card at a bar in a city you used to be in - the Flyers attempts at retrieving pucks wrapping around the boards - Vinny Prospal’s shield - realizing you forgot to put on deodorant - getting drafted by the Islanders - automatic edit/spell check when you’re trying to write gansta - having a goal taken away because you bump into someone who makes a living bumping into people - standard definition - having your kid see a mascot’s head fall off - being stuck in college when you could be playing in the NHL - remembering you drunk dialed your parents - having someone get on the treadmill with you when you’re in the middle of a run - clearing the puck on yourself when you have a powerplay with less than a minute left and your goalie pulled - being the kid on the far right in this video

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